Here's a recap from the cbs site of the PAFFL's week five games.
26 points from James Jones helps give Palo Alto Short Bus the win
Coach Wetzel has probably found some other ways (whittling maybe?) to pass the time during their recent games After last week's blowout, they was involved in another no-doubter this week (and lost again). Salem Beavercats got beat down by Palo Alto Short Bus, losing 120.87 to 67.7. The loss is part of bad trend for Salem Beavercats, who have scored fewer points than the week before for three straight weeks now.
The loss drops Salem Beavercats' record to 2 - 3, while the win brings Palo Alto Short Bus to 3 - 2.
Coach Todd Feinberg's squad got off on the right foot Sunday morning. James Jones carried the water, scoring 26 points. A big portion of Jones' points came on this impressive bomb from Aaron Rodgers (followed by a less-than-impressive Lambeau Leap).
Meanwhile, Salem Beavercats were putting up a sub-par effort. Marques Colston and Jermichael Finley both did poorly, together coming up with only 5points. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Colston, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.
Going into the Sunday afternoon games, Salem Beavercats were already a long shot to win. The door slammed shut for good after several players, including Cam Newton, dropped essentially no fantasy points. A good performance for Palo Alto Short Bus by Vernon Davis on Sunday night just put a little bit of salt in Salem Beavercats' wounds.
Class in Session
Coach JESUS and Alshon Jeffery deliver victory to BLAK JESUS
Hopefully Coach JESUS has been taking their heart medication. After lastweek's close game, they got another dose of touch and go action this week. BLAK JESUS just barely got past BINGO, winning 97.83 to 94.73 in the only close game this week. The 98 points that BLAK JESUS dropped were the most they scored so far this year.
The win is the first of the season for BLAK JESUS, making their record 1 - 4. The loss makes it three in a row for BINGO, and puts their record at 1 - 4.
BLAK JESUS got more than half their points from just two players: Alshon Jeffery and Pierre Thomas. Thomas scored 22 points, which were the most that any running back collected this week. His performance also stopped his four game streak of not meeting his projections.
Ben Tate has been dead weight throughout BINGO's losing streak, and thisweek brought more of the same. Tate was one of three big underperformers, combining with Eddie Royal and Garrett Graham to rack up 2 points. Tate's 3 points were the fewest he has scored so far this year. He ran 7 times for only 28 yards and fumbled for the second straight week when he got stripped byDonte "Soon To Be Hitner" Whitner.
Coach JESUS can pat themself on the back for this week's victory. They went with Doug Baldwin over the higher ranked Stephen Hill.
This decision netted Coach JESUS an extra 6 points, which was the difference in the game. This makes it three weeks in a row that Coach JESUS has taught the experts a lesson in lineup management.
One Sided Affair
T.Y. Hilton leads South Whore Jibbers in an easy win
South Whore Jibbers got off the schneid with this win. They now sit at 1 - 4. The loss drops Monkey Fust's record to 2 - 3.
Wide receivers T.Y. Hilton and Terrance Williams were the prime movers for South Whore Jibbers, recording 33 and 30 points, respectively. Hilton's 33 point performance was the 2nd best of any player this week.1 He came through for South Whore Jibbers and the Colts with TD receptions of 29 and73 yards.
Monkey Fust had many underperformers, but Matt Schaub stood out, scoring only 0.8 points. Schaub fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. He has been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.
Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Monkey Fust better not making a habit out of losing to a sub .500 team, as they face off against bottom dweller BLAK JESUS next week.
Meanwhile, South Whore Jibbers will collide with BINGO. Good timing, as BINGO will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak.
Tony Romo's 43 points sinks Pomona Stoned Hens
The experts predicted this would be a close game. The experts were wrong...big time. Los Altos Isotopes demolished Pomona Stoned Hens, winning 105.83 to 64.3. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Matt Burchard, since Los Altos Isotopes has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far. The win brings Los Altos Isotopes' record to 4 - 1, while dropping Pomona Stoned Hens to 1 - 4.
Los Altos Isotopes had almost all of their firepower going on Sunday morning, but they didn't end up with a lot of points. They had three underperformers, with Alex Smith (8 points) bringing up the rear. This is the 1st time this year that he was the worst starter on his team.
Pomona Stoned Hens suffered through Sunday morning, when all seven starters during that period failed to hit their positional averages. Ryan Broyles tanked the most, scoring only 3 points. Broyles hasn't given Pomona Stoned Hens one week of above average wide receiver play this season.
Pomona Stoned Hens also had to deal with a poor effort from Michael Vick (10 points below expected). Vick left Sunday’s game before halftime with a bad hamstring, and it looks as though Nick Foles will get the start in week 6.
Going into the Sunday afternoon games, Los Altos Isotopes were already way ahead. It was over for good after Tony Romo scored an incredible 43 points. A solid performance for Pomona Stoned Hens by Tony Gonzalez on Monday night was not nearly enough for a comeback.
He's the Man-ning
Peyton Manning scores 35 points to help put away Naughty Thoughts
Los Frijoles Pinto got this win with a little bit in reserve, earning a 118 to 105 victory over Naughty Thoughts. The win brings Los Frijoles Pinto's record to 4 - 1, while dropping Naughty Thoughts to 2 - 3.
Los Frijoles Pinto were led by the tag team of Peyton Manning and Justin Blackmon, who together tallied 59 points. That's all in a day's work for Manning, who is the best quarterback in the league. Manning, who has now thrown 20 passing TDs on the year, added his first rushing touchdown in five years on a naked bootleg.
Tom Brady and Kenbrell Thompkins were double trouble for Naughty Thoughts, together totaling only 7 points. Thompkins' momentum from lastweek's 19 point performance apparently didn't carry over.
Coach Marty Brill did better on the sidelines than their team did on the field. They left Brian Hoyer and David Akers on the bench in favor of Russell Wilson and Caleb Sturgis, who were both expected to score less.
These decisions boosted Naughty Thoughts' final score by 28 points. It also made Coach Brill the best performing gameday coach this week.
Dez Bryant and Fuego skate past Team Kitty
The experts had Fuego winning this one easy. The experts were all kinds of right. Fuego made it look easy against Team Kitty, winning 143 to 87. Besides the victory, Coach Jose can brag that they posted the highest score in the league so far.
Fuego have now finished off three straight opponents after this win, giving them a record of 3 - 2. The loss drops Team Kitty's record to 3 - 2.
Dez Bryant separated himself from the rest of the crew on Fuego, totaling 25 points. No surprise there, as he is currently the 2nd best wide receiver in the league. He showed off more than his size on Sunday as he got behind the coverage on this 79 yard reception.
Meanwhile, Sidney Rice was the main culprit in Team Kitty's loss, scoring only 0.8 points. No other wide receiver scored fewer points than that thisweek.
Losing to a good team (like Fuego) better not become a pattern for Team Kitty, as their next game is against Los Frijoles Pinto, who has pulverized the league so far. Meanwhile, Fuego will take on Naughty Thoughts.
Engel Shiz couldn't handle Fred Jackson as Delta Mad Dawgs gets the win
After coming up with all of 2 points last week, Ray Rice came up clutch thisweek. Rice teamed up with Fred Jackson to rack up 43 points. Rice's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to perform at a league average level. After getting only 5 carries last week, the Ravens gave Rice the ball 27 times. He repaid them with 74 yards and a pair of shorttouchdown runs.
Balance might be good for gymnasts, but it didn't help Engel Shiz this week. LeSean McCoy topped the running back average by 5 points to lead the team, while Darren Sproles fell only 6 points short of the average RB in bringing up the rear.
Next week will see Delta Mad Dawgs taking on the 4 - 1 Los Altos Isotopes. Delta Mad Dawgs have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one.
As for Engel Shiz, they will match up with Pomona Stoned Hens next week. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 64 points this week. Making things easier, Pomona Stoned Hens will be without Tony Gonzalez, who has a bye.
Austin Pettis' 19 points help East Bay Funk crush Strongfighters
In a week that featured five blowouts, this was the biggest. East Bay Funkthoroughly dominated Strongfighters, winning 110 to 45.67. With the win, East Bay Funk put an end to Strongfighters' three game win streak. The win brings East Bay Funk's record to 3 - 2, while dropping Strongfighters to a matching 3 - 2.
East Bay Funk won with a balanced effort, as five players outperformed their positional averages. Austin Pettis was the first among equals, tallying 19 points.2 That's the most points that he's scored so far this year. It's also the 4th straight week that he he has outperformed his projections.
Like East Bay Funk but in reverse, Strongfighters really lost this game as a team. They had eight underperformers, with Ryan Mathews (0.8 points) being the worst.3 Mathews suffered a concussion shortly before halftime against the Raiders and was unable to play at all in the second half, not that it would have mattered much with Danny Woodhead seeing the bulk of the action to that point of the game.
Coaches John Matern and Tyson Robertson's lineup wasn't any better than their players this week. They left Mason Crosby and Kellen Winslow on the bench in favor of Nick Novak and Mychal Rivera, who were both expected to score less.
These decisions shaved 21 points from Strongfighters' score. After their decisions this week, Coaches John Matern and Tyson Robertson have now cost their team points for the season (20 points worse than the experts).
- Performance rank based on how player did vs their positional average
- Player didn't have most points on team, but did the best compared to their position
- Player didn't have fewest points on team, but did the worst versus their positional average